How I Broke My All-or-Nothing Mindset (and What It Taught Me)

For most of my life, I’ve been an all-or-nothing person.

If I started something, I had to give it 100%. If I couldn’t do it perfectly, I’d quit. Whether it was working out, eating healthy, creating content, or even just staying in touch with people… the second I “messed up,” I was out.

Sound familiar?

This mindset gives you incredible highs when you’re on track. But when you slip even just a little, the crash is brutal. And worse? It creates a cycle of guilt, shame, and inconsistency that makes everything feel harder than it needs to be.

But recently, I realized something that stopped me in my tracks:

The only area of my life where I’ve broken that cycle…
is fitness.

I’ve been working out consistently for over 12 years…not because I’m insanely disciplined, but because working out is the one thing I stopped doing all-or-nothing.

Some days I show up and crush it.
Some days I pick up the lightest weights and just move.
Some days I don’t want to go at all, but I go anyway; not to prove anything, just to be there.

It’s not about pushing myself to the limit anymore.
It’s about showing up without expectation, without pressure, without performance.

And that consistency? It’s not built on motivation or perfection.
It’s built on compassion.

So I asked myself:

Why can’t I bring that same mindset into other areas of my life?

Like this Instagram page.
Like writing.
Like building something meaningful imperfectly.

Yesterday, I filmed a quick, messy video at a museum with my kids. There was no script and no plan. I simply told a story that happened that week.

And honestly? That felt like a breakthrough.

Because the truth is, I don’t need every post to be “viral-worthy.”
I just need to keep showing up. Like I do with my workouts.
Even on low-energy days. Even when it’s not perfect.

So if you’re stuck in that all-or-nothing loop, here’s my simple advice:

Stop waiting until you feel 100% ready.
Stop trying to prove anything.
And start treating your goals like something that belongs in your real life, not just your highlight reel.

Low-effort days count too.
You don’t have to do it all.
You just have to show up and do the best you can do THAT day!

Have you struggled with all-or-nothing thinking too?
Let me know in the comments or send this post to someone who needs it.
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